So sad.

I heard about this family tonight, they were putting branches in a wood chipper and the dad only turned his back for a second. That's all it took. His six year old son put a branch in there and got sucked in. The dads other kids were in the yard helping too and they all saw it happen. The grief councilors had to come straight down there with the family. My prayers are with them. It make's my problems so petty in comparison. Rest In Peace sweet child. Be with god.

Needing a sign.

Yesterday I was happy all day, and then later that night I went to Walmart with my mom. And when we went through the self-checkout the machine said I needed aproval from the cashire and she carded me. For a dvd! I didnt have my wallet so all she said sorry and turned around and left (with my dvd). Embarrased I wanted to get the hell out of there but the machine froze up and she had to come over and fix it again. Anything to leave but my mom pulls up and I guess even though Im 23 my mom has to be present and its all ok. At this point I was physically shaking. About two secend away from having a meltdown and I dont care about the dvd anymore I just want out. Out, out, out! But oh no, my mom wants me to buy the dvd I dont want anymore and she wont leave it be. I toss over the cash so I can maybe get out of there without a breakdown and the alarm dings over the door as we leave. That was the breaking point that set me over the edge. Hating myself that Im crying in public. I cryed all the way home. That happens alot when I PMS.

Bad Vibes

I have been having a really bad feeling lately. First I had a dream that a demon was after me. Then I found out that Grandpa has cancer and it has spread to his lymph nodes. Earlier today my mom got a call saying Anthony wasn't at the house when the bus tried to drop Layne off from school. Anthony was really asleep though and didn't hear them knocking. When you have a child their needs are suppose to be above your own. I don't feel that he gets that. Layne's suppose to feel loved and cared for but all he's getting is neglected and feeling unloved. It breaks my heart. WHAT IS WRONG WITH MY BROTHER??? And tonight Shasta was brought in to the vet for her itching. She's chewed all the fur off the end of her tail in kept gnawing on her feet. She had a mite dip for any mites the may be under the skin. A couple hours latter she collapsed and peed on the carpet. It reminds me of the last days with Blondie. After calling the vet for help she said it could be an allergic reaction from the dip and to wash it off. It seems we unknowingly poisoned our dog. Washed and dried with a hair dryer we gave her some benadryl and put maple syrup on her gums to bring up her sugar levels. Looks to be working a bit, but not much. We hope for the best, but she's a really old dog. And to top off all the stress, while I was laying in bed here I keep hearing the hissing like a snake or a cat of god forbid a hissing spider but my mind keeps going back to my dream where that demonic demon found me in bed. I keep hearing it in the empty corner of my room and can't see anything there. Its really freaking out!